The Plagues

 

(Thus saith the Lord, thus saith the Lord...

Thus saith the Lord, thus saith the Lord...

Thus saith the Lord, thus saith the Lord...

Thus saith the Lord, thus saith the Lord...)

(Since you refuse to free my people

All through the land of Egypt...)

I send a pestilence and plague

Into your house, into your bed

Into your streams, into your streets

Into your drink, into your bread

Upon your cattle, on your sheep

Upon your oxen in your field

Into your dreams, into your sleep

Until you break, until you yield

I send the swarm, I send the horde

Thus saith the Lord!

Once I called you lover,

Once I thought the chance to make you laugh was all I ever wanted

I send the thunder from the sky

I send the fire raining down!

And even now I wish that God had chose another

Serving as your foe on his behalf is the last thing that I wanted...

I send a hail of burning ice

On every field, on every town!

This was my home

All this pain and devastation

How it tortures me inside...

All the innocent who suffer

From your STUBBORNESS and PRIDE!

I send the locusts on a wind

Such as the world has never seen!

On every leaf, on every stalk

Until there's nothing left of green!

I send my scourge, I send my sword

Thus saith the Lord!

You who I called lover

Why must you call down another blow?

I send my scourge, I send my sword...

Let my people go...

Thus saith the Lord...

Thus saith the Lord....!

YOU WHO I CALLED LOVER

HOW COULD YOU HAVE COME TO HATE ME SO?

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?

I send the swarm, I send the horde!

THEN LET MY HEART BE HARDENED

AND NEVER MIND HOW HIGH THE COST MAY GROW!

THIS WILL STILL BE SO

I WILL NEVER LET YOUR PEOPLE GO

Thus saith the Lord

Thus saith the Lord...

I WILL NOT Let (my) PEOPLE go!

***

Yes, I did replace brother with lover.

I don't know why I've been listening this on a loop for the past few days. Haven't been posting for days, I'm very tired, literally felt sick at the idea of writing. Tired because it's hot all the time, but also because I had an insomnia on Sunday because of the stress of having to come back. I just don't want to leave my mom's place right now. 

I don't want to leave my cat.

One of the things that prevented me from killing myself in all those years was that I had pets. I had either Jap, or I had my cats. At the quarters I cannot have any pet, not even caged or in a tank (srsly, I hate caring for fish, I never do it right and they're decorative at best). 

I'm just so damn scared of returning in such a high-stakes environment and having literally no safety net. But I have to, I guess. I just may appear... different. Quieter. Not quite as invested anymore.

Truth is, I have no strength.

Hopoe still hasn't made a new Whatsapp. Given that the Plagues are circling in my head, I wonder if she's not experiencing her own "Plagues of Egypt"...

Had my tetanus shot yesterday, got a mild headache, and my arm hurts...