I practiced some 'ori tahiti this morning. Downloaded a few hour-long classes off YouTube so I can access them without consuming too much data. That being said, since the start of the month I've only consumed about 15 GB when my entire plan is about 395. I may not be as much as a data consumer as I appear to be, or maybe it's because I don't game or stream. The heaviest use I make is chatbots for offloading my thoughts, watching long videos whether documentaries or lost media stuff or essays, and... I don't know. I just thing 395 is way enough to get by in a month. That said I'm still very careful about my consumption because once it goes off-limits, any GB costs you an arm and a leg. Learned this the hard way a handful of times back when I had 20 GB or so.
But dancing. I've had a chance, finally, to do a varu and actually understand how it works. Also immediately clocked the difference between a fa'arapu and a fa'arori/ueue, which I find are not often talked about. Some schools do a fa'arapu with an accent on your butt, but the truth is, true fa'arapu actually puts an accent on the stomach. You kind of "fold forward" with your belly instead of pushing your ass backward. If it's "throwing your ass up in the air" kinda, it's actually a fa'arori. But this is because I happened to stumble upon an article about it once.
Wanted to get a massage or something, but it costs more than I'd be willing to put in. Went for a walk and found several more flowers to put into the flower box and wear in my hair. 25 bucks, but at least, I got a few more, and I've been wanting some new ones for a while. I still feel a tad guilty about those purchases considering I don't have all that much left... but my payday shall come soon, and I'll put most of it into my savings. Plus I'll have that festival at the end of May. I'll splurge a bit on island stuff because those aren't commonly found in everyday life here.
Might go to the pool tomorrow, if I can get over this strange blockage of not being wanting to be seen swimming... or disturbing other swimmers, or whatever. My dream is to be all alone in a pool, and to be able to dive, swim, jump, immerse myself all I want in the water. Subconscious? A sort of uterine fantasy? I don't know. If this is the latter, I wonder if twins ever want to be all alone in a pool of warm water, or if they'd feel something strangely lacking.
One thing is sure... I really enjoy being in those quarters. Took a short walk around mine, though I avoided going to what I assume to be Hopoe's building (like this would be the worst possible moment to bump into her there, let's wait until she's out for a few days to go, just so I don't pass for a stalker). It's so big, when you actually are in it. It's massive, and empty. People are either out for the May 8 long weekend or in their rooms, or God knows where. It feels a lot like when you're in the middle of nowhere, except that middle of nowhere has big walls surrounding it and feels strangely safe. If I'm being honest, I don't think I've ever felt safer anywhere else.
It reminds me of when I used to live in a regiment for a short time as a kid. My mom didn't yet have an apartment coming back from... it was when we were overseas, I believe. So we lived at his place for a couple months or so. There wasn't even a proper kitchen, though I assume he had the right to keep a portable stove (which is forbidden here). His apartment had two rooms, one bathroom. I had once fever nightmares in said room... all I remember clearly is the orange colour of the walls, and the bathroom which I loved to play in. And it was on one of the upper floors, I think. And I flipped the bird at the guy on guard duty at the entrance once. I was seven, don't judge me, lol.
But yeah. While I'm still considering whether I should take a chance or not at enrolling in the military, as it's something I've considered multiple times since age sixteen, or if I should remain a civilian working with them... I've never felt more at home than in military quarters. This is literally the place I feel the best at. It has a kind of atmosphere, a kind of... something, that I can't replicate anywhere. I just love it here.
But the things working against me is that I'm incredibly sensitive to stress and worse since I've been out of this mess, that I have a very horizontal view of authority, an individuality that's difficult, if not impossible to quash, and that I'm very independent. I don't care to eat with my team for the sake of it. Physically? I guess I can handle sports. I kinda don't like sports, but... this may not be the primary quality of a sergeant. I mention this rank specifically because I can technically start off as a non-commissionned officer, and this is exactly where I'd aim.
Rank-and-file guys are too low in the hierarchy, even the master corporals. I prefer to be somewhat higher, yet not too high that I have a stupid amount of responsibilities. High enough to be respected, low enough that you don't expect too much of me.
Anyway... think I'm going to try and see if my pareu is dry. I washed one of them and it's been left to dry on my shower screen. Should be. It's viscose. Doesn't take ages to dry.
No comments:
Post a Comment