Laundry

 My whole service, except for a few of us, went on a long walk. I was initially participating but given that I'm ending my period and my hormones are still acting up, fatigue is rather unpredictable for me. Plus, temperatures are going way up. I just didn't feel it today. 

I was alone with Patty and Esme today. That is, until Esme had to go for an appointment because she has difficulty catching her breath while doing effort (it can't be her weight, she's running and maintaining her physical condition, but she suffers from anemia and already is unfit for certain activities). But it was good. Esme is sweeter when she's alone, or in a smaller group. Even her eyes get softer. I don't know if I already mentioned it but I once saw her gaze while we were not in the open space and she isn't as restrained. When Patty joined us, it became fun. Lots of playful exchanges. All three of us make a nice group. She could be our mom. Esme is five years younger than I am. 

Endometriosis seems more and more like a proper diagnosis for me. Ultimately only the tests will say, but Patty has it, turns out. I told her about it while Esme was on a phone call somewhere else. For once, I had some space to actually talk to someone without feeling like I overshare. She has the exact same symptoms as me. Peeing all the time when you're ovulating or on your period, painkillers working every other time, needing one before sleep in case Aunt Flo comes knocking in the middle of the night and your stomach feels like it's tearing itself apart, needing to pace or twist yourself into a certain position, being tired around your period, PMS... all of them, the same. But since she's in her 50s, she didn't get a whole lot of help for it. I guess I'm lucky to have been born at the time I was born, because things are getting taken seriously now.

I have no idea what stage mine, if there is, could be. Some stage 1s are extremely painful, some stage 4s don't cause a whole lot of pain. I can only hope it's not as bad as Hopoe's, which had her go on the operating table multiple times, and I wonder sometimes if she still has her uterus at all. Guess I'll know, eventually. 

When Esme left for her appointment and Patty went back to her office, I worked. In fact, the morning passed rather fast. We worked an extra hour today because there's one Friday a month when we work an extra hour for solidarity reasons with the reservists, but it was okay.

When the others came back, they were all sweaty and tired. There was even a sort of waiting line for the showers lol, people would go and others would wait in the office. My warrant officer was sleepy. One of the first sergeants gave me the last two pieces of her chocolate-banana cake. Tasty! Another lady gave me a cookie. I didn't have lunch until 2:30pm because my stomach was already well-fed. 

In the past I would've never accepted. I would've been too afraid to throw them up, that I'd get sick from them for whatever reason, like unwashed hands or food poisoning, but now... now I'm accepting them. My body wants food. It probably was too deprived of it in the past even if I never realized I was actually starving myself.

After this, I directly went to buy a drying rack. Why? Because laundry otherwise is hell of a logistical nightmare for me. I have one that you can hang to a door but not only can't I close my bathroom door at all when I do happen to have stuff drying, I also can't put hell of a lot up there. Considering 95% of my clothes are not compatible with going into the dryer (and I accidentally slightly shrank one shirt of mine already...), it just made sense to me to buy a bigger one that I could spread open. 

The one I took is light and turns out to be way enough, though quite big, for my clothes. My dresses, sweaters, even my new pareu are drying on it. I'm currently waiting for my towels and sheets to come out of the dryer... because normally the military-provided sheets are changed every other week, but mine were not. I decided to take matters into my own hands: it sounds like the fact I have a bedspread and an extra pillow makes the cleaning lady think all of the stuff on the bed is mine and not to be touched. Oh well. I guess it takes no effort to wash it. 

I'm not planning on doing hell of a lot today. I think doing my laundry is enough. Give me some time to recover from my period. Tomorrow I might buy a bit of extra food. But today, nah. Let me rest.

BTW. I finally got the fucking fan working. It's not that it wasn't, but there was one piece that would never remain in place no matter how much I'd screw it on and would inevitably come off if the fan was running, so I decided to glue it on. And now... I got that table fan ready for the hot days.

Later, internet.