Cuts

This is exactly what you think it's about.

It's not a healthy way to cope, I know. In fact, I have many healthier ways to cope. I use them most of the times. Hot water bottle, walk, music, hot shower... got plenty into the toolkit. But this one? It's a controversial, albeit... somewhat essential one. I had a period from 2019 to 2025 where I was clean. I don't do it all the time, only in... moments where it exceeds what I can deal with. Or when I feel that nobody would believe me. In moments where I have no one, and that I feel nobody would care anyway. 

A way to make it visible. To prove all of it existed. 

To make it impossible to deny.

I never show them. I hide them. If anyone asks I'll just say I've burned myself or have elongated while working out, and it's not like it's too visible anyway: it's high enough that nobody would notice the bandage unless I really roll up my sleeves.

But the scars will be visible. I don't need them to be visible for people to see. It's for myself, just for myself. 

Might scare some. But to me those are signs. Stigmata. And one day, more tatau on them. They'll cover them up. I will not cut there again, but I need matter to cover up one day.

They're a sign that I have gone through something real, and that I am still here.

Future stories to be told.