First day of work. I woke up earlier than my alarm, just as expected. The night was a little fragmented but I did well overall. Insane how even if you sleep less than usual, the sheer lack of added stress makes it way easier to deal with. It's nowhere near as catastrophic.
The team I am in is particular in a good way. I'm in an open space with six people, but it's not as bad as I thought. Honestly? They're nice people. I would probably not feel as good if they were assholes, but I wouldn't have much of a choice anyway: money calls. There's one of my colleagues I think I may get along really well with. I'll refer to her as... hmm, let's say, Esme. She's a few years younger than I am and she, too, dislikes being in an open space and likes to have dinner or even lunch in her room. When you're surrounded by people all day and said people bring up work topics over lunch when you're already surrounded by working matters, you… just don't want to be around this kind of BS. Not everything in life is work.
No really. That girl seemed a little standoffish at first, I actually saw her a handful of times during my previous contract here, but now I think we might just make good friends and she just happens to have a harder outer shell. She's from Guyana, I reckon. I'm thinking of this because in my novel, my protagonist's first girlfriend (even as there was no label for their relationship) had her family stationed in Guyana for a while and had a bestie from there. Also, some of the people in my section remind me of those I love. My dad's former team, who I still love dearly despite everything.
Hopoe, in particular, I saw today. I texted her chief warrant officer, who I will call Cassiopeia, have a good relationship with, to see if they were available for lunch today. They weren't. I wondered whether it was simply work, if it was because of all that happened with Hopoe last time, or if it was because of what happened with my dad. (Probably though, it's just work getting in the way, because those who saw me reacted positively).
I came from behind her, and the colonel, Cepheus, who is my second "closer contact" in this group, said hello to me. Hopoe turned and looked at me with eyes that I couldn't quite decipher, but I didn't sense any anger inside of her. It reminded me a bit of how she looked at me back after I tried to confront her one last time back in November and she was so closed off I had no choice but to leave. It was a couple days later: I was entirely broken, and her eyes looked sort of hazy then. Again it was a quick glance and it was mostly undecipherable. Typical self-protective Hopoe. Probably it's the kind of eyes she does when she either doesn't know how to feel or clamps the hell up.
But either way, if she didn't already had a sense I was around… she knows, now. Maybe not yet that we live in the same place, although strangely enough I didn't see her name in the corridors (might've just badly looked, I was in a hurry to get back to my room), but… that I'm back. I don't know what thoughts live inside of her now, but I certainly didn't see coldness here. Oh. Sooner or later.
I also did not see her at dinner tonight, but it wouldn't be surprising if she were avoiding it a little now, or if she... just didn't feel like coming out to have dinner. She hides forbidden cooking gear and loves to cook… what I hope is that nobody is going to rat her out. That stuff can get you one, two warnings, or you can lose your room entirely.
Anyway. Ovulation hurts like a bitch. I took painkillers but as usual with cycle-related pain, it works somewhat unpredictably. I also noticed that my ovary/uterine pain has been ramping up since I left my dad's place. Now has my pain tolerance decreased and this stuff's always been more painful than I realized, or is it that… it's getting worse? I guess that as long as I'm not doubling over or fainting or throwing up, I don't need to worry too much. First my mind, then my body, give me a break.
Later, internet.
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