Holy heck.

YES. Holy heck. That's the only way I can describe today. I got prolongated... 

...and Hopoe unblocked me after some really strange behaviour this morning.

I won't be staying here for two, but six months. Of course I'm overjoyed, that means no rushed job search, that means I can breathe, that means... I have a lot of time to see the others.

Not only that, I can book that workshop I wanted to attend, which takes place in October. There was one with a certain Aie Manuel, twice winner of the Heiva i Tahiti, that I would've loved to be part of... but its date was right when my contract begun. I'm still salty about having missed Aie, but the two women I will not miss, I won't. I'm waiting for payday so I can finally book my spot and my accomodation. Will probably be back to the little farm I went to on my very first workshop, since I absolutely loved being there. Will drive 200km again, even if there is a closer spot technically... because I'm like a salmon, swimming up a river.

But also, I have a feeling Hopoe is keeping an eye on me, especially after what happened yesterday that left the air feeling like a storm was about to break. 

Why? She's passing through my corridors. I could totally be mistaken, of course, but why am I making this strange assumption?

Well. Something I haven't really said yesterday is that I did see her... twice. In the morning. I'm not talking about the mess and amphitheater encounters. It was the same morning, but I had brushed them off. And it wasn't for work, her service doesn't have anything to do with us. 

I saw someone very much looking like her in passing from my desk, but it could've been Big Kili. Once, then later on, a second time. Hmm. It did look a LOT like her, but I chose not to really take it into account because as I said, I couldn't be sure it was her. Just chalked it up to Big Kili, or that she for some reason had business to do downstairs. After all, I was blocked. I couldn't imagine she wanted anything to do with me right now. 

This morning I'm complimenting a colleague on her outfit when I see someone who very much looks like her, in neon yellow sports attire, coming down the hallway... and yes. It's her. Unmistakeably. The head shape, the height, it's my Hopoe.

Oh. Shit. 

I immediately bolted forward, hid in the bathroom, and looked discreetly: indeed, exactly who I thought. Hopoe. Going back from a workout considering that she took a shower right after. I had no idea she was fit, maybe her health improved a little lately, or she's doing so to ease stress?

Me, I took a couple minutes to settle my racing heart, then took my cigarettes, sat nearby outside and smoked one, my back turned to the corridor as I blew out clouds of smoke like I wanted to blow out the literal eruption inside of me. No idea if she saw me or if she was soaping herself up or drying, or just done as it was silent when I went back. Not that it's important, anyway. I didn't bump into her a second time today. 

I have been here for a couple of weeks. It can't be "just me being hyper-attuned to her". If it had been a habitual thing for her, I would've noticed way earlier. Something just felt... strange. I don't know if this is what was going on, but I had a feeling she was acting like she was trying to muster up the courage to come and see me. 

Again, the "before the storm" feeling... the distinct... charge in the air. If you've ever been in a situation like this, you may know what I'm talking about. I didn't know what she was brewing, but I had a feeling. A huge feeling. So huge, in fact, that it was almost paralyzing.

Anyway, I was so excited about my prolongation that I couldn't concentrate much the remainder of the morning, on top of that. Plus one of the first sergeants, a very sweet black lady, had her birthday last week and brought two delicious cakes (made with love by herself!) to the office. I had two slices. Talked a bit with a coworker I will call Patty. She's a bit whacky, but nice, everybody likes her in the service. I'm not eating a whole lot for lunch, but... I ate my heart out on this cake. I have to. I have to put some meat back on those bones. 

Came across Cassiopeia, Jolene (who was surprisingly nice again? maybe indeed it was related to her marriage...), Libra... and I do hope to be able to reunite with them properly soon. June can't come any faster. I also brought back documents to my room related to the second exam I'm going to pass soon. It's not really an exam actually, it's a selective hiring that could get me to enter public service for real. Changed tops, went from long sleeves to short. I was a bit worried especially considering I forgot to apply foundation on my cut-up arm, but figured I'd just keep my arms at a certain angle so no one would see.

I came back to my office as usual. Nobody noticed the cuts or made comments on them (they're a week old, at this point they look like scars). as I was taking a break and browsing the gram, that I was surprised to see Hopoe's profile picture on Whatsapp again. I accidentally hit "share to whatsapp" and there she was.

Initially I thought it was a glitch, or that my phone had her picture in its cache. Nope. Hopoe is back. I checked once, twice. Checked that she hadn't blocked me again. It appears not... 

She still hasn't said nor sent a word, but she unblocked me. I couldn't believe my eyes. I guess I really am perceptive, not delusional, even if I have no idea what she actually has in mind. That's the thing when you unblock without a word: the receiving end can't really figure out what you're going to do. 

But still. Not only do I get my contract prolongated, she also... does that. I'm thinking maybe this is a universal nudge here, but truth be told, I'm so exhausted that I'd rather not explore too many scenarios. I simply don't have the energy. I just want a shower, a light dinner, and the joy of knowing that tomorrow is going to be a warm day so I can go out in a dress, and that I'm going to have a new pareu delivered.

Goddamn, so many emotions today when I hadn't slept too well in the first place, and I'm still on my period. Let tonight be easy...

Love you Hopoe, but please don't have the genius idea of sending a message tonight. I'm just going to tell you that I'll read this later because I'm hella tired.