Two classes a week

 I won't be having one, but two classes a week! Arranged it with Hikianalia. 

One dance class a week is just not enough for me. Waiting seven damn days for the next one is soooo long. For someone like me who is pretty active and is also unemployed at the moment, as well as unable to walk a lot because 1. heat and 2. I often carry a pack of six little carbonated water bottles which... is heavy, that's a nice outlet for this extra energy. 

Plus, idk. It can make me socialize a little more. I want to see Rose again but I know I will have to speak about Hopoe as to tell her what happened to me and all and... well. I can type about it. But speaking about it? Still impossible. I still feel my throat closing up at the thought. 

Hikianalia and I had a conversation about it, and it felt good. I'm still a little nervous, I don't know if I have to let myself open myself up to her, after all, we don't know each other yet. But she remains so warm. I'm honestly happy that she is around. Though again, can I trust this? I still have no idea.

She opened up a little, herself. 

"Last year I had several people get back at me [about having two lessons a week]. They were feeling fine, so if you want to start with two a week, then I'd be happy to have you here for an extra evening. It'll be great."

"By the way, I didn't dare ask because it's not the most important question ever, but why don't you take cash anymore?"

Hikianalia only takes cheques, and in the rules, she did mention that she is no longer taking change.

"Because a lot of people didn't pay me."

Instant "what the fuck" moment.

I knew, even before she said it, that someone must've taken advantage of her kindness in the past. Otherwise she wouldn't always be saying how nice she is. 

People suck. 

"And because it can get lost, and you don't know whose money it is, especially if they don't provide it in an envelope. Plus I don't drive, so I would often walk there [to the studio]. I'm afraid of carrying cash on me like that. With cheques, if they're made out to someone already, they can't be accounted for. I only take cash in very specific cases, like if there are really no other options like bank transfers or cheques. But really not for like, twelve students." 

"Yikes. The whole point of a lesson is that... it's a paid service. 

But given how dodgy [city] can be in certain neighbourhoods, I don't blame you for not wanting to walk carrying massive amounts of wonga, especially when it's dark outside."

"That's why year after year, I learn. 

I do this because I love dancing, because it's a passion, because doing it, I feel alive, I feel feminine, I just feel like myself. And I have this sincere desire to pass it on. 

But yeah, I'm running a school, so I learn as I go along..."

"Turns out I was right to get a chequebook. I'd picked this thing up to pay for a flatshare, but the move never happened, and in the end it was just sitting here unused amongst my stuff... but now it’s actually coming in handy, haha.

IMO passing it on is the best thing you can do if you’re "wired", so to speak, for teaching… it has to be the best way to keep your craft alive. Because one day you won't be here anymore. What you'll have

passed on, however, will remain within us, and it might very well keep circulating if some of us end up teaching in turn.

For me, I don't know if I'll ever be able to formally transmit anything… whether it's dance, writing, perhaps drawing, or just a philosophy I have. I don't think I trust myself enough to be certain I'm not accidentally passing on complete bollocks 🫠 but then again, if you are indeed confident enough, passing it on becomes almost vital.

By the way, when you say you are nice, it always feels like kind of a warning. Can't help but think that you have to be careful with kind people 🤣 Kind, absolutely, but if you dare go too far…"

"Yes, I am kind 🙏

So, we'll see each other tomorrow evening then, and don't worry about things. Can't wait to see you all again. Get some well-deserved rest, x  ✨️"

"You too take care ☺️ See you tomorrow!"

I do think she liked the way I phrased things. I'd be surprised if she didn't. 

Even if I'm always bracing for sudden U-turns and the proverbial shoe dropping loudly on the floor above me.

But yeah, good Lord, how can people just take advantage of someone's kindness, which mind you is a choice even if born from a genuine character trait (which to me appears that is the case of Hikianalia), and... not think twice? Or even regret it? Or just... I don't know?

You sign up for dance classes, you pay, point fucking blank.

I bet it comes mainly from the parents of the younger dancers in addition. I'm not sure why but my gut says that the people most prone to pulling this kind of shit are the parents of little girls, not the adult students. 

But anyway, two classes a week, double the dose of group, double the Hikianalia, and double the pleasure. Half of it coming from choosing which pareu I'll wear and which top to pair it with.