Whatsapp group

Hikianalia created it just now. Got all the gals here. I hope that we'll have nice conversations. 

We actually did some hula as an exercise today and I'm always thrilled when Hawaiian dancing is on the table. Because I get to incarnate my nickname.  ;)

I haven't identified myself as such in the group. My Whatsapp has my real name, because... well, honestly, Hi'iaka is an identity I want to reveal to few people. I wouldn't want literally everyone that has my number to know that I go by this name online, even if I guess there aren't that many internet sleuths of my sort out there. I'm just your particularly curious brand of girl... 

I sweated like crazy, but I still... I don't know. If I'm not dead exhausted to the point of nausea, I feel that I need to do more. Except, of course, one hour of dancing and especially with the cardio part which was hard asf (alternating between your regular tamau and tamau ha'ape'epe'e, with breaks of a few seconds yes, but then Hikianalia would go "HEY!" another time and here we go for another round, baby!), that's probably harder on my system than I realize. My thighs are mildly sore but I probably am going to feel it tomorrow morning.

It was very hard to keep at it, but if I want to do tamure marathons and win at least one, I need to know what the hell I'm doing and I especially need a lot of endurance. I even consider practicing this at home but honestly... isn't two hours a week already good enough? I'm tied between this irrepressible urge to dance, to do more, to reach for the stars and to push my body to such a point that it breaks its own limits and soars, and the knowing that no, I'm not unbreakable, and that perhaps too much practice would be counterproductive and even burn me out, and don't get me started on potential injuries, too.

Before the class, Despina and I were the first ones to come. I learned that she, too, had a period of not being in school. I dropped out in my last year of high school, though I did get my degree, and she apparently dropped out earlier due to school phobia and burnout, and an ex-boyfriend who gave her death threats (little fucker). She's currently going through training to be able to resume her studies. I wish I could be like that, resuming studies, getting a degree... but save if I really can't do otherwise, I've been burned so badly by academics that I absolutely refuse to go back there.

For fucking real I was there for ten years, school is compulsory from age 6 to 16 (and a few years ago... the age was brought down to THREE. Like all three-year-old kids are mature enough to go to school?? Some still shit their nappies!)... there's no way I'm sitting for more torture to in addition not ever know whether the teacher will choose to fuck me over or not, or if I'm going to be a disappointment like I've always been. 

But Despina probably has her own goals with that. Sigh. May she succeed at it.

I also learned that she tolerates spices to the point of being able to literally eat chilli peppers. I can't tolerate them without shitting my guts out. Me and another girl, who I will name Kore, don't exactly tolerate those well lol.

(Kore is cute by the way, she's about my height and kind of chubby, pale skin, dark hair and dark eyes, and is listed as single on FB, and is two years older than me. Yes, I've looked. Yes, I'm curious. But no, this is not the cute girl I had seen on the first day. That cute girl, btw, is a friend of Despina's. Small world.

Plus. I've looked. Kore is basically Persephone. Lady of the Underworld. If this is another signal from my subconscious, perhaps I should stay the F away because there's no way I'm letting something poison my own dance class.)

Anyway. I wanted to write a little blog post before watching my episode of Twin Peaks. Those are 45min long, it won't be as huge as the pilot which is twice that amount. 

G'night.