[SPOILER FOR TWIN PEAKS S2E02!]

I was watching the second episode of the second season of Twin Peaks. Finished the first one a few days ago.

About halfway through the episode, you see Leo Johnson in hospital, with Shelly, who has got better after the smoke inhalation from the wood mill's fire, asking if he's a vegetable... if they can cure him... if he'll be okay.

The same guy who literally tied her up inside a mill and installed a timer to set fire to said mill.

To kill her.

And it's not the first time he attacked her or tried to kill her.

And she still cares about him.

I got taken back to this day in the Colonel's office when he said that there were harassment allegations about me due to what happened with Hopoe.

And... I just. I remember how, in tears, shaking, barely able to talk, I would ask if she would be okay.

I remember how I protected her career all that time. I did not speak partly because I felt I would not be believed and it would even make things worse, but also because I did not want her reputation to suffer.

Hopoe who literally attacked me at the snack bar while I was already down, and... well, you know what I did to myself right after.

Hopoe who gave me, for months, the silent treatment for something completely inconsequential. Hopoe who insulted me, called me immature, who said I was "overthinking" when it was her who acted erratically, who made me a sort of devilish figure in her mind I guess, so radioactive that even existing in the same online space is intolerable to her, from all I see.

Leo tried to kill Shelly and she still asks if he'll be okay. She does love Bobby, but she does love Leo, too, in spite of everything. Dude is the worst possible asshole and a violent abuser and she still loves him.

Hopoe almost killed me as well, attempted to literally assassinate my character, and still when I learned, a month ago, that she could damn well be punished for what she did to me and for abusing the procedure of reporting harassment, I was not happy.

I am still not happy about the idea she possibly has her advancement frozen, could be transferred God knows where doing a job that she will hate, that quite possibly some of Cepheus' team don't talk to her anymore or just are no longer the same around her, that she will have to live with what she did all her life.

And I still want her back. 

If I were in that scene in Shelly's place, and Hopoe was laying there unconscious, I would have straight up taken her hand or caressed her hair. 

...

I feel it, Shelly. I really do.