Crazy

 So... I just learned my mom knows the real reason why I exited my job.

Father told her that Hopoe could get punished for what she's done to me. And that, and I'm mega surprised about all of this, she's apparently attempting to get transferred to somewhere, and is "looking for trouble" to get basically dispatched somewhere else. Tracks a little: Hopoe did tell me she doesn't like the West, likes the East, hates the South. But to specifically mess with me so she'd get a transfer? Or perhaps use any opportunity she can to just destroy something?

Either way, she apparently shot herself in the foot. In the army, when you're punished, you are punished. I don't know if it disqualifies her from her officer exam (even if, again, Hopoe as an officer is honestly a weird idea, and... look at how many Polynesians are officers, that's about... near-zero). She was apparently trying to do whatever with her career and it just blew up in her face spectacularly.

All I know is that I have no idea how someone can hold onto resentment for months following a minuscule misunderstanding that would've been solved in five minutes, and that negativity is just making her ugly. That I don't recognize my Hopoe, the one I fell for. The one who looks thirteen when nobody looks. The one whose smile changes her whole face, and whose voice gets me weak in the knees in a way no one else's does.

Now my father is my father. I can't quite tell when he tells the truth because he's lying so much that the rare times he does tell the truth, I can't quite believe him. But in this case, perhaps he is indeed telling the truth. 

I guess their "good" relationship got tarnished after all. I remember the praise in his goodbye speech.

"Hopoe, the beauty and the temperament of a warrior encased in an envelope of softness".

Welp, my guy, I guess you regret your words now.

Mom hopes she does get punished, because I ended up leaving my job, almost dying. She says that she thinks Hopoe has a few screws loose, and that it's good for her that she gets punished. 

Me? I'm not happy about it. I still am not. I'm angry at Hopoe, yes. I'm disgusted at her behaviour. At times she makes me want to barf. 

But happy about her getting punished? Absolutely not. 

Mom doesn't understand "how I can still have compassion for a girl like that". Because Hopoe sure didn't hesitate tearing me down like that. She didn't hesitate throwing me under the bus for, apparently, her own gain.

I didn't tell her that's because I love her. 

I said that I spent months covering her because I didn't want her career to suffer. That such things could have an impact for years. That your reputation could suffer. Imagine people getting your file and finding out that you had a conduct that almost killed a young woman. 

I also told her about her age, the fact that she's turning 40 in a few months. Mom is hella surprised. She thought Hopoe was my age. Well, nope. We have almost thirteen years of age gap. Ten centimeters of height difference, and she's roughly twice my weight. 

I don't know if she knows that this is also the person whose pearl I am still wearing to this day. And who is inked into my right arm now, alongside my own flower. 

But yeah. Apparently, if I had remained at my job, I wouldn't have had consequences. The investigation must've taken place, or not, but either way, apparently it was said that "this was private matters" and had no business being taken to the workplace. And indeed it was. It was just between the two of us. Hopoe might've weaponized it for whatever reason, but it looks like she got a karma blow instead.

I'm just not feeling well about this.

And again, nobody gets it. 

But Mom, if you were in my position, wouldn't you get it?...