Eclipse

I think I can go, now, with a peaceful mind.

I got answers from both Hikianalia and Hokulea regarding dancing. Hikianalia said that I could register up until late October. That took off part of the pressure from my shoulders, but it fundamentally did not remove the pressure of possibly having to lose Hokulea in the process.

I could not go to Hera yesterday, the pressure of deciding was too much on me. But I think I'll send the text today. The text saying "eclipse, eclipse, I'm eclipsing myself", obviously not in those words, but that's the implication. Saying that indeed, I cannot come back to work on Monday. 

I went to watch the eclipse, and I'm honestly glad that I got to see it. Last one of the sort, the August 11, 1999 one, I was in my mother's womb. Don't know if she watched it.

Initially I wanted to watch it from a bridge, but there was a grassy (dry... grassy, from all the damn scorching heat of this summer) area where I sat. I changed spots multiple times because the sun was just baking me alive, but I had my glasses ready. The moon had already started passing when I arrived. 

It's later on that, checking every now and then with the glasses, I saw the crescent sun getting smaller. There's something truly unique about seeing not a crescent moon, but a crescent sun, with your own eyes. Texted Esme about it, she was not watching initially but she ended up sending me a video of it. Honestly? I wish she had been here to watch it with me. It would've been a really special moment. It's one thing to watch such a beautiful instant on your own, but it's totally another when you have a friend by your side. 

And Hopoe, too. I actually thought of her during the eclipse, and right before I came to my grassy spot, thinking that I wish we could have watched it together, the song she sent me played on my mp3 player. Again, synchronicity... I don't know. I just know that the thread is still alive. Otherwise, shit like that wouldn't still be happening. Plus, I don't know. Watching the eclipse with Hopoe vs Esme would've been a totally different flavour. 

But in either case, I was alone. And once the eclipse reached totality and started finishing, I got up and walked home. Took a bunch of pictures on the way: it would've been an enormous shame to waste such an opportunity to get unusual, but natural lighting.

***

Either way. Now that I have certainty for both dance groups... it just takes off a lot of pressure on me. I actually had trouble sleeping last night because of it. 

Now I know that it's not about trading one for the other, but very probably actually getting to experience both. Stars that rise over the horizon: Hikianalia first, then Hokulea.

Closing line: this may be one of the only pictures you'll get of me. Enjoy.

yep, I'm a shadow doing the shaka, what did you expect